*Disclaimer: If I owned Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon, I would
be working on making the new season right now. As you can see,
I'm not. Therefore, draw your own conclusions.

Medical Miracle
Chapter 12: Namida no Shoujo (The Girl of Tears)
By: The Rose Society
Rating: PG-13
Email: EtrlSlrMn@aol.com
http://www.geocities.com/the_rose_society/index.html

*Few Days Later*

	Mamoru was extremely annoyed. We're talking about
facial ticking, steam emitting ears, hair pulling and pulse
mark appearing anger. For the past few days, Usagi had been
avoiding him. Every time he thought that he had finally
cornered her, someone would interrupt and keep him from
talking to Usagi. Even when he tried to return the suit she
had lent to him, Mamoru did not get to actually talk to
Usagi. As soon as he knocked on her door, Rei opened it,
grabbed the suit bag, said a quick, 'Konn'wa, Mamoru-san,
Usagi-chan's busy making dinner, I'll tell her you dropped
by, ja,' and slammed the door in his face. Those rare times
that he was alone with Usagi, they had to take care of a
patient.
	Kicking his desk, Mamoru slumped into the leather
chair dejectedly. 'Why would she avoid me? I need to talk
to her about what almost happened at the apartment.' He was
not blind, despite his all-consuming love for Usagi. That
night, as she fled his place, Mamoru could see that she
had been afraid of what might have happened had the doorbell
not rung. 'She wanted it to happen, but she was also afraid
of letting it happen, like she was losing control. Why
would Usako be so frightened of me?'
	Both Self-Control and the Voice raised an eyebrow.
'Usako?'
	Mamoru blushed. After almost kissing Usagi, that
little nickname just popped into his mind. Of course, he
still had yet to actually call Usagi "Usako" but he already
began to think of her as HIS little bunny.
	The Voice jabbed Self-Control in the ribs. 'Usako?
When in the world did this little development take place?
You have been hiding information from me, haven't you?!?!'
	Self-Control waved a disinterested hand in the
Voice's direction. 'I do not need to keep you informed of
all the developments in Mamoru's life.'
	Voice bristled in anger, but before he could do
anything, Self-Control stopped him. 'Can you save it for
another time? We need to analyze Usagi's behavior. It is
rather odd for this to be happening. I believe it's time
to bring out the experts.'
	Self-Control and the Voice faded as Logic and
Intuition appeared. Logic, adjusting the tiny glasses on
his SD face, stuck out its hand toward Intuition. 'Ready?'
Intuition nodded as it grasped Logic's hand.
	'Usako wanted us to kiss. Her every expression,
breath, movement told me that. But somewhere, buried deep
within her heart, was a fear. An almost paralyzing fear of
me. Rather, a fear of...' Mamoru rubbed his temples. 'It
felt so much like a fear of being loved and loving someone
else in return. I know that was the emotion she was feeling.
I've felt it so many times in the past. Demo, doushite?'
Mamoru remembered how Usako and her friends used to talk
out loud at the Crown about how they all wished a handsome
young man would come and sweep them off their feet. He also
remembered himself, sitting at the counter, watching Usagi's
every movement with an intense longing and a deep resentment
at the same time. Mamoru would have given everything to be
like Usagi, able to show her emotions without fear of being
hurt or abandoned. 'Usako is not the type to fear loving
another person. After all, she offered to become my friend,
didn't she?'
	Voice snorted, popping its head back into the
picture briefly. 'And we all know that offering to be your
friend took immense courage on her part. You're about as
friendly as a porcupine.'
	Logic, ignoring the Voice's brief appearance, cleared
its throat. 'This fear that Usako seems to have shown at our
last encounter means that the events that happened to her
during our absence has had a deeper effect upon her than we
previously thought.'
	At this point, Intuition piped up. 'Well, from the
facts presented, we can only speculate that the deaths of
her parents are what has caused this fear of becoming
romantically involved. Demo I feel as if there is something
else, something that we do not know yet, that is holding
Usako back.'
	'Hai, that seems to be a good guess. The death of
her parents caused her sadness, demo her fear of love does
not seem to be a result of that. If it was the cause, Usako
would not want to become involved with anyone else for fear
that they would die and leave her. Iie, there must be
something else that Ami did not tell us, something Usako is
hiding.' Logic and Intuition both nodded solemnly.
	Mamoru pounded his fist on his desk. Why was everyone
giving him the run around and not telling him the truth about
Usako? Was she lying to him? Well, the only thing Mamoru was
sure of, he was going to find out Usako's secret.

*Next Day*

	"Usagi! Usagi-chan!"
	Usagi spun around, surprised to hear Ami's voice
yelling her name. "Ami-chan, daijobu? What's wrong?"
	Ami placed both hands on her knees as she panted
slightly. Usagi gave her some time to catch her breath.
After a few moments, Ami finally straightened her posture.
"Usagi-chan, Dr. Hongo asked me to find you and remind you
that your appointment is in half an hour."
	Usagi nodded, curtly. "Hai. Arigato." As she turned
to leave, Ami placed a gentle hand on Usagi's tightly
clenched one.
	"Usagi-chan? Have you been feeling alright lately?"
Ami did not want to pry, but she was really concerned over
Usagi's health lately. The stress of avoiding Mamoru and
ill health seemed to make Usagi more quiet and withdrawn
than usual.
	Usagi paused, but did not turn to face Ami. Both
were silent for a long moment. "Ami-chan, when I find out
for sure, I will tell you and minna everything. All I
have right now are guesses." Ami nodded sadly and let
Usagi continue on her way. She knew that Usagi would tell
her when she was ready to.
	'Kami-sama,' Ami thought. 'Onegai, let the test
show that Usagi is alright. Onegai, do not let us hear any
bad news.'

*Laboratory*

	Usagi stepped into the waiting room. The nurse at
the desk looked up from her charts, noticed that Usagi had
arrived, and motioned for Usagi to go immediately into the
lab.
	Knocking on the door, Usagi said, "Ayanami, is
that you? Usagi desu. I'm here for my appointment."
	Dr. Hongo looked up from the instrument panel.
"Usagi-chan? Come in." Entering the room, Usagi closed and
locked the door, as she always did for her appointments.
Dr. Hongo did not even have to tell Usagi what to do. Usagi
immediately headed for the cabinets, grabbed a paper gown
and changed out of her uniform and into the gown in the
changing area. Coming out from behind the partition, Usagi
headed to the gigantic machine that was in the middle of
the room.
	Dr. Hongo stood next to Usagi as Usagi laid down.
"Usagi-chan, you know the drill. I'll be getting the lab
technician to run the scan. After that, you can go back
to your duties."
	Usagi nodded from her position on the cold tablet.
She knew exactly what to expect. After all, she had done
this numerous times. When Dr. Hongo left after giving
Usagi a reassuring smile, Usagi promptly closed her eyes
tightly. She hated this machine. Every month, for a year
now, she would have to come in, change into a drafty paper
gown, lie down on the cold, disinfected table, and get
scanned to see how far the cancer had progressed. Every
month, around the time for her appointment, she and her
friends would hold their breath, preparing to hear the
worst and cautiously hoping for the best. For the past few
months, Usagi and her friends had been able to release that
breath when an all clear sign came from the tests. But
eventually that luck would run out...
	The hum of the machine stopped and the lab
technician came and told Usagi that everything was
finished. Thankful that the awful process had been
completed, Usagi changed back into her uniform and went
back to her duties.

*Hospital Grounds*

	Usagi pushed Nanami's wheelchair slowly, letting
the young girl enjoy the outdoors as much as possible.
Nanami, seeing that some of her schoolmates had arrived
to visit, waved to them and soon was surrounded by a few
giggling friends. They began to chat animatedly about
the latest anime series.
	Smiling, Usagi walked away and sat next to the
fountain. Grateful for the rest, Usagi ran her fingers
through the cool water. Looking at her somewhat pale
reflection, Usagi frowned. Lately, she had been more
tired than usual. She hoped that her exhaustion was
merely the result of an oncoming cold or because of the
stress of avoiding Mamoru.
	Mamoru-chan...That man was constantly in Usagi's
thoughts. She felt horrible about being so cold to him
but there was no other way to handle the situation. She
could not let anything happen between them. Her thoughts
wandered to a few years ago. Rei-chan, Ami-chan, Mako-chan,
Mina-P and she were all at the Crown, taking a break from
their studies. As they sat in the booth, Motoki came over
with a few drinks. Usagi, Rei and Ami watched with laughing
eyes as both Makoto and Minako flirted with Motoki. After
a good laugh, Motoki left them to attend to his other
customers.

*Flashback*

	"Ne, Usagi-chan," said Minako, after taking a sip
of her soda. "How are studies coming along?"
	Usagi choked slightly on her ice cream, but after
a small cough, said, "Alright, I guess, Mina-P."
	Rei twirled her straw between her fingers. "I can
not believe that you are already studying for the high
school entrance exams. It is way too early for you to be
even thinking about them."
	Makoto nodded. "Hai, Usagi-chan. Have you been
spending too much time with our little Ami-chan here?"
Grinning, Makoto poked Ami's side as the girl looked up
surprised from her textbook.
	"Hai, studying is so boring." Minako made a face.
"At our age, we should be thinking about boys, not books!"
	The rest of the group sweatdropped. Leave it to
Minako to think about boys at a time like this.
	"Ano, Mina-P..." began Usagi. "Do you think of
anything else besides boys? What about your dreams for
the future?"
	"Of course, Usagi-chan!" Minako clasped her hands
together dramatically and gazed woefully at the ceiling.
"I want to be a famous actress!"
	Rei rolled her eyes at yet another instance of
Minako's over-dramatic acting. "You could have fooled me!"
	As the two argued, Makoto continued the conversation
with Usagi. "How about you, Usagi-chan? You always said
that you wanted to be a bride? Have you found the right
man yet?"
	Usagi blushed slightly and looked down at her
lap. "Iie...that isn't my dream anymore."
	The bickering stopped. The textbook dropped from
Ami's hands, unheeded. Makoto just stared at Usagi,
open-mouthed.
	Usagi, looking at her friends, giggled. "Minna,
it's not the end of the world."
	Rei interrupted. "Hai, it is. Since when did you
change your mind? Ever since we've met, you've said that
your dream was to, and I quote, 'be the bride to the most
handsome and wonderful man in the world.'"
	Usagi's coloring deepened. "Well, I now have a
different dream. Is that so bad?"
	The four other girls tightened around Usagi,
eyes glittering hungrily.
	"What's your dream, Usagi-chan?" asked Minako.
	Usagi blushed even more. "Ano...I want to become
a doctor." Usagi closed her eyes, waiting for the laughter
of her friends. After a few moments, Usagi cautiously
opened an eye, wondering why her friends hadn't started
laughing yet.
	Ami smiled at Usagi's cautious expression. "That
is a wonderful dream, Usagi-chan. I believe that you can
do it!" Everyone else nodded at Ami's comment.
	Usagi shyly smiled. "Minna, you really think that
I can make it as a doctor?" They nodded again. "Arigato,
minna, for believing in me," Usagi said in a quiet voice.
	Minako gave Usagi a hug. "Demo Usagi-chan. It
doesn't mean that you can't also dream of becoming a
bride. It just means that you have two dreams to chase."
	Rei took a long drink of her soda. "Of course,
Odango, I think that you should drop the dream about
being a bride. After all, who would want an Odango Atama
as a bride, even if she is a doctor." Rei's eyes twinkled
mischievously, showing everyone that she was only teasing
Usagi.
	Knowing that Rei was teasing, Usagi stuck her
tongue out and blew Rei a raspberry. "Hmph, I'll show you,
Rei-chan. My husband will be handsome, rich, caring,
romantic and a doctor to boot!" No one noticed that Mamoru,
sitting at the counter, had heard everything and was
turning a very interesting shade of red.
	'I am reasonably good looking, financially stable,
future doctor and I love my Odango,' said the Voice.
	Self-Control quickly ousted the Voice. 'Not now!!'
	Rolling up its sleeves, the Voice tackled
Self-Control. 'Hai, NOW!!' The two battled for control
as Mamoru listened to the girls, subconsciously hoping
to hear more about Usagi's dream man.
	Blowing a raspberry in return, Rei teased, "Ha!
Odango Atama, if you ever get a man like that interested
in you, I'll...I'll..."
	"What are you going to do, Rei-chan?" taunted
Usagi.
	"I'll marry Yuuichirou!" shouted Rei.
	Immediately, the four girls, including Ami,
pressed closer to Rei and promptly began to tease the
furiously sputtering Rei about what were her exact feelings
for the temple apprentice.

*End Flashback*

	Usagi let out a sigh. Back then, all that she thought
about were trivial matters like getting a boyfriend. But
then reality came crashing in, taking her parents away from
her and ripping her safe world apart. Was there really a
time where Usagi's only dream was to become a bride?
	'He'll be tall, in good shape, with piercing eyes
and an electrifying smile.' Usagi once wrote these words in
her journal. 'He'll have a good job and be responsible, yet
have a good sense of humor. He'll be romantic, taking me for
candlelight dinners and walks up Tokyo Tower. I'll be so in
love, every time I see him, I'll feel like I'm falling in love
all over again. His kisses will send me to the moon and back.
During our walks, I'll be able to call him by my special
nickname for him, something cute like...'
	"Mamo-chan..." Usagi whispered. Her heart skipped
a beat. 'Mamo-chan? Where did that come from?' Usagi thought.
'I do love you, Mamo-chan. Somehow, behind all the name
calling and the teasing, I saw the real you, the vulnerable
you. That's who I fell in love with and have loved ever
since, the Mamo-chan underneath the coldness. Demo,
kami-sama, I never thought...I never dreamed that you could
feel the same way. When you left for America, I was so sad,
demo I thought that I could finally move on, get over you.
And I thought I did. Demo as soon as I saw you again at the
hospital, I knew that I never had forgotten you. I never could
have forgotten you.' Tears slid down her cheeks and into
the fountain, causing the water to ripple. 'Demo it's too
late now, Mamo-chan. I can never tell you what my heart feels.
I can never let you love me.'
	Something warm and wet hit Usagi's hand. Thinking it
was a tear, Usagi took out her handkerchief, wiped her tears,
then moved to wiped the tear from her hand. But when she
looked at her hand, she stopped. There, like a glaring reminder
of her future, was a bright red spot of blood. Taking her white
handkerchief, she touched the handkerchief to her nose. Looking
at her reflection, Usagi watched in horror as blood stained her
once pure white handkerchief.

*Mamoru's Office*

	Mamoru sighed. It was close to the end of his shift.
After he finished these patient files, Dr. Hongo said that
he could go home. Mamoru glared at the clock. Usagi's shift
had already started and ended for the day, but Dr. Hongo
had kept him busy with reading test results and updating
patient files.
	A knock on the door interrupted Mamoru as he typed
up a report. "Come in," he said, angry that he had been
interrupted.
	"Gomen nasai, Chiba-san, demo Hongo-san said that
there were a few more tests that she wanted you to look at
before you left," said the nurse.
	Mamoru wanted to scream but he calmly nodded at
the nurse. After the nurse left, Mamoru let out a few
choice words and then grabbed his lab coat and headed to
the lab.
	Mamoru tapped the technician on the shoulder.
"Gomen nasai, demo I came to pick up a few test results."
	The technician nodded. "You're Dr. Hongo's intern,
right?" When Mamoru nodded, the technician pointed to the
stack of large envelopes sitting at the edge of his desk.
"Those are it, the last batch for Dr. Hongo."
	Mamoru nodded and picked up the pile of envelopes.
Just as he was about to leave the lab to return to his
office, the technician stopped him, waving another
envelope.
	"Chotto matte!" Placing the envelope on the bottom
of Mamoru's stack, the technician said, "That one was from
today. I had told Dr. Hongo that it wouldn't be done
until tomorrow demo the lab was relatively free of work
and so I finished the test early."
	Mamoru nodded. "I'll inform the doctor about the
test." Nodding, the technician returned to his work and
Mamoru returned to his office.
	Closing the door behind him, Mamoru set the stack
of envelopes on his desk. He quickly placed the correct
envelopes with the proper patient files. There was only
one file left.
	"Ano...that's odd. Dr. Hongo did not give me a
patient file for this patient." Sliding out the scans,
Mamoru hoped that by looking at them, he would realize
which patient they belonged to. Placing them on the view
screen, Mamoru looked at the scans. "Kami, poor person!"
The scans revealed that the patient had a rare form of
brain cancer. But that was not the worst of it. It seemed
that the cancer had begun to spread and tumors had begun
to appear on other organs. At this point, Mamoru knew that
the patient had a very slim chance of surviving nor did he
or she have very long to live. Shaking his head sadly at
the poor person's fate, Mamoru looked at the front of the
envelope to hopefully identify the doctor who ordered the
tests, knowing that this was not one of Dr. Hongo's
patients.
	"Iie..." he whispered, his hands tightening so
much on the envelope that it began to tear. His face turned
ashen in color and his whole body felt numb. "Iie! IIE!"
he shouted, trying to deny the truth before his eyes.
	There, typed neatly onto the envelope, were the
words "Tsukino Usagi."

Translations:
	ano- um...
	chotto matte- wait a minute
	daijobu- are you ok?/I'm fine/It's ok
	doushite- why?
	___ desu- This is ___.

Author Notes:

	None, really. Midterms in two weeks (ack...gag!)
so delays are to be expected.
Until the next chapter...

~The moonlight carries the message of love.~
~Tsuki no hikari wa ai no message.~